Things I'm not good at

I've realized there are some things I'm just not good at.

School is one of those. I'm also fairly poor at drawing. I can do stick-figures, and some simple things don't look TOO terrible, but I'm not great.

I've also realized recently that I'm just horrible at starting conversations with women.

As sad as it is, I started an account on this website called "Okcupid".

It's a dating site.

And I suck at it.

I had hoped this would turn around my up-to-this-point shitty track record with the fairer gender.

As of this posting, I have had one person respond to a message I sent attempting to start a conversation, but I managed to dead-end the messaging like a pro. The only other person to respond I'm pretty sure was a robot attempting to hack into my computer, as after trying to talk to them on Yahoo messenger, the just were "typing" for like 10 minutes, so I freaked out and closed the convo. Next day the account on Okcupid was deleted.

I think I may just resign myself to a life of single-hood and just stop trying.

Would be less disappointment if I never expect anything to happen. Setting my sights low like this may seem pessimistic, but I don't really have anything left.

A Momentous Night

Tonight was fun.

Not the MOST fun I've had recently, but something I needed.

I felt like a very old man though. I ended up at this party a younger friend of mine was throwing. I brought some cigars and a bottle of Maker's 46, a quite wonderful bourbon. I hadn't seen this friend for a good long while so it was nice to catch up and smoke a cigar with him. Later in the evening I ended up sitting by the pool with ANOTHER old friend and ANOTHER cigar, sipping my bourbon and chatting idly by...until SHE showed up.

She of course being my latest ex. I had only run into her once this summer, and we didn't even speak. She ended up coming over and sitting down with us and talking with us.

This after totally ignoring me previous times we had encountered each other.

I really had hoped to not have to deal with this at all this summer.

I wanted that part of my life to be past me, but then here it is walking right up and sitting down. I NEED to not let my self get dragged back into that hell-hole I was living in for the past 8 months. I have to not regress. I fought so fucking hard to get myself past her.

I had planned on spending the rest of my life with her. I was fully content to do whatever it would take to make her happy. All I wanted was for her to my "Star" as Neil Gaiman might put it. I wanted my fairytale ending. I thought I had found it.

No point in dwelling on it now I guess. I have work in the morning. Maybe I'll forget it all happened, maybe I'm still tipsy and just type type typing away. Though even if I DO forget it I have written proof it happened and will only remind myself...

Fuck

And now for something completely different

So I figured I'd change things up from my normal depressive self and try being funny!

Lets take a look at dogs shall we? In particular, lets look at the Corgi....they may or may not be the most adorable fucking things I've EVER seen...don't know what they look like? i'll save you

the trouble of Google searching it

Tell me you didn't just go "D'awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...." at that...if you didn't, you're either not human or you need to see another...

Yup...if you didn't just gush a little you're probably a robot.

It's like someone took a husky puppy, mixed it with some kind of biological hot-dog bun....

(Did someone say me?)

And made it's legs adorably disproportionate....

You might even say that Corgis are the "Minions" of the dog world, just adorable little things that only want to make you happy.

All in all, one of the cutest fucking things ever.

That's it. I'm done.

Probably not all that funny, but hey! It's a try!

All images © of their respective owners, I claim no ownership over any images.

Some more Pointless rambling

Time for some more pointless rambling. I'm not entirely sure why I do this. Maybe it helps me in the long run. Maybe people actually read it. Who knows. My last post was pretty negative. I should probably apologize for that, to the people who may or may not actually care. I'm sorry. I was upset, I wasn't thinking, and I most assuredly am not THAT angry about it. It's just I really care a lot for her, and had been really hoping that things would actually work out with her. She's one of the few positive things that's happened to me since my ex. She's also one of the few chicks I can REALLY talk to, really open up to. I'm going to stick with it though, as her friend. If down the road she feels comfortable with dudes again and hasn't grown completely sick of me as most women seem to, then hey...maybe something can happen. At this point I'm reallllllly trying to not hope against hope that it will, because if nothing does it's going to suck. A lot. So I'm actually trying to be negative about it in a way. That's a good way to live right? Right? Yea that's got to be it. 0_0

I'ma be the best damn friend I can be. Unless she grows tired and finds all cool new friends at U of I, in which case I'll do what I'm second best at after waiting for people...Fade into the background and just disappear.

Boy that's a downer huh?

Sure is...

Blargyblagoblog

I don't even fucking know...there's no point in me typing this. No one reads it. No one cares. I guess it helps me a bit. Whatever.

This day pretty much blows. I worked a pointless shift. I sat at home and did nothing but watch movies by myself and paint figurines in my room. I'm pretty sure this is proof that I'm going to die alone. But I've known about that for a while now...whatever...fuck this noise.

Nothings happened with that Girl. Nothing probably will. Such is my luck.

Still have a shitty job.

Fuck Everything

Fuck this day

See Title. This day has fucking sucked.

I get to work after waking up late. Find that not only is my retarded Manager there, so is the FUCKING OWNER OF THE STORE.

This of course means that everything anyone does is wrong.

I end up scrubbing fucking walls.

I spend about an hour wrist deep in something I can only describe as "Sticky-tac mixed with a prolific amount of grease and left to sit in the sun for a day or two".

I got to scrape this out of a drain with a fucking chisel...

I'm so glad I work at a Subway.

The end.

3/31/2010

Well, this was certainly time well spent to create an account here. Blogging seems so strange to me. I highly doubt my life is so interesting that people would really want to read about me. But hey, maybe I'm wrong.

Lets see, last time I talked about what I do, some of what I like. Not much else. Totally over that relationship. Hindsight really is 20/20 you know? I see now so much of that situation that was really just bad for me, but hey. That shit's done with, and she's not going to find someone who will treat her better. But enough with that shit. Who cares? It's in the past.

I feel I may be to paranoid for my own good.

There's this girl. And things are going really well. Last night I wanted to just lay under the stars for no real reason and she totally joined me. We're not dating. She needs time after her last relationship, so I'm being the gentleman that I am and giving her that time. But it was really nice just laying there and talking with her. She's one of the coolest people I know.

But today, we haven't really talked as much as normal. And after logging onto AIM she logged off a minute or so later. I'm sure this is just coincidence, but I feel like I messed up somehow.

Bah. If I did, it's nothing new.

I just hope not...

UPDATE: Totally fine, just me being paranoid