Alone on a Bicycle for two

Things are not so good.

I still have a shitty job. There are days when I contemplate driving into the wall of the store rather than go in. I never do, but maybe that's just a sign of being weak-willed.

I've been single over a year now. I hardly noticed that the day had come up. I suppose that's a good sign, that I've moved on enough to not be affected by a date like that. There are still some days, usually before bed, where I lay in bed and feel like dying I miss her so much. I know I shouldn't, that the relationship I was in wasn't good for me, but I was happy goddammit. It was the one time in my life I've really felt like every thing was actually going my way for once. I've not felt it since. I thought things were looking up a few months back, but as usual I got my hopes up. One would think I would have learned by now not to do that. I guess old habits die hard, but I think this is one habit I've finally killed. I've been talking back and forth with this girl online, but I'm sure nothing will come of it; Nothing ever does, so there is no point in wishing it to.

I tried applying for a different job. It would have been my dream job. I'd get to work with fantastic people, great customers, an amazing discount on my hobby. It would have finally made something in my life be good. My friend got it. I've applied for a few others but probably wont hear anything.

My Mom also broke her shoulder recently in addition to getting 2nd degree burns on her left leg. This had needless to say made life at home so much better. It's hard to type sarcasm but I hope you got that. Not that anyone really reads this though, so I suppose it doesn't make much difference. I really wonder what the point is sometimes.