For anyone who reads this, I apologize.
I have recently been a bit whiny, and I'm sorry. Things recently have just really gotten too much for me and I kinda snapped.
My job is terribly shitty and unsatisfying. I don't get paid anywhere nearly enough.
My Mother recently broke her shoulder in three places and I've had to take over all of her responsibilities at home.
I feel totally and utterly burned out about school.
Despite numerous women telling me "I'm such a wonderful person" or I'm "Such a great guy", I am absolutely unappealing it would seem as a boyfriend.
Many people whom I used to count as friends have turned into very bitchy individuals since going to college.
It just got too much for me. I'm sorry.
Friday, November 19, 2010
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Alone on a Bicycle for two
Things are not so good.
I still have a shitty job. There are days when I contemplate driving into the wall of the store rather than go in. I never do, but maybe that's just a sign of being weak-willed.
I've been single over a year now. I hardly noticed that the day had come up. I suppose that's a good sign, that I've moved on enough to not be affected by a date like that. There are still some days, usually before bed, where I lay in bed and feel like dying I miss her so much. I know I shouldn't, that the relationship I was in wasn't good for me, but I was happy goddammit. It was the one time in my life I've really felt like every thing was actually going my way for once. I've not felt it since. I thought things were looking up a few months back, but as usual I got my hopes up. One would think I would have learned by now not to do that. I guess old habits die hard, but I think this is one habit I've finally killed. I've been talking back and forth with this girl online, but I'm sure nothing will come of it; Nothing ever does, so there is no point in wishing it to.
I tried applying for a different job. It would have been my dream job. I'd get to work with fantastic people, great customers, an amazing discount on my hobby. It would have finally made something in my life be good. My friend got it. I've applied for a few others but probably wont hear anything.
My Mom also broke her shoulder recently in addition to getting 2nd degree burns on her left leg. This had needless to say made life at home so much better. It's hard to type sarcasm but I hope you got that. Not that anyone really reads this though, so I suppose it doesn't make much difference. I really wonder what the point is sometimes.
I still have a shitty job. There are days when I contemplate driving into the wall of the store rather than go in. I never do, but maybe that's just a sign of being weak-willed.
I've been single over a year now. I hardly noticed that the day had come up. I suppose that's a good sign, that I've moved on enough to not be affected by a date like that. There are still some days, usually before bed, where I lay in bed and feel like dying I miss her so much. I know I shouldn't, that the relationship I was in wasn't good for me, but I was happy goddammit. It was the one time in my life I've really felt like every thing was actually going my way for once. I've not felt it since. I thought things were looking up a few months back, but as usual I got my hopes up. One would think I would have learned by now not to do that. I guess old habits die hard, but I think this is one habit I've finally killed. I've been talking back and forth with this girl online, but I'm sure nothing will come of it; Nothing ever does, so there is no point in wishing it to.
I tried applying for a different job. It would have been my dream job. I'd get to work with fantastic people, great customers, an amazing discount on my hobby. It would have finally made something in my life be good. My friend got it. I've applied for a few others but probably wont hear anything.
My Mom also broke her shoulder recently in addition to getting 2nd degree burns on her left leg. This had needless to say made life at home so much better. It's hard to type sarcasm but I hope you got that. Not that anyone really reads this though, so I suppose it doesn't make much difference. I really wonder what the point is sometimes.
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